When a child struggles repeatedly with behavior, it's tempting to look for a simple explanation: "He's defiant." "She's attention-seeking." "He just doesn't care."
These labels feel like answers, but they don't help us solve anything. They describe the problem from the outside without explaining what's happening on the inside.
Our approach is different. Instead of asking "What's wrong with this child?", we ask: "What skills is this child struggling to develop?" and "What specific situations is this child having difficulty with?"
Lagging Skills & Unsolved Problems
We use a tool called ALSUP (Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems) to understand what's really going on. It's not a test or a diagnosis — it's a way of looking at a child that leads to real solutions.
Lagging Skills
Skills the child hasn't fully developed yet — like flexibility, frustration tolerance, or reading social cues. These explain why certain situations are hard.
Unsolved Problems
Specific situations where the child struggles — like "staying seated during story time" or "transitioning from play to class." These are what we actually solve.
Skills Children Are Still Learning
All children are learning these skills. Some children develop certain skills more slowly than others — and when expectations exceed their current abilities, they struggle. Here are the main areas we look at:
Flexibility & Adaptability
The ability to handle changes, shift plans, and cope with things not going as expected.
A child lagging here might: get upset when the schedule changes, struggle with transitions, or have trouble when their first idea doesn't work.
Frustration Tolerance
The ability to stay calm when things are difficult, boring, or not going your way.
A child lagging here might: get overwhelmed quickly, give up on hard tasks, or have intense reactions to minor setbacks.
Problem-Solving
The ability to think of different solutions, express needs in words, and anticipate consequences.
A child lagging here might: get stuck on one approach, act without thinking, or struggle to explain what they need.
Emotional Regulation
The ability to manage big feelings — excitement, anxiety, frustration — without being overwhelmed by them.
A child lagging here might: "go from 0 to 100" quickly, take a long time to calm down, or seem to act on every feeling.
Social & Relational Skills
The ability to read social cues, understand others' perspectives, and navigate relationships.
A child lagging here might: miss body language signals, not realize how their actions affect others, or struggle with taking turns.
Executive Function & Attention
The ability to focus, control impulses, and organize thoughts and actions.
A child lagging here might: act before thinking, struggle to follow multi-step instructions, or be easily distracted.
Getting Specific
General labels don't help us solve problems. "He has trouble with behavior" is too vague. We need to identify the exact situations where the child struggles.
Examples of Unsolved Problems
- •"Difficulty staying seated during story time"
- •"Difficulty transitioning from free play to class time"
- •"Difficulty sharing materials during art activities"
- •"Difficulty waiting for a turn to speak during circle time"
- •"Difficulty when activities don't go as expected"
Notice what's not in these statements: judgment, blame, or theories about motivation. Just specific situations we can work on solving.
Looking for Patterns
Once we've identified specific problems, we look for patterns:
- →When does the child struggle most? Morning? After free play? During certain activities?
- →When do they do well? What's different about those situations?
- →What happens right before? What triggers the difficulty?
- →What has been tried? What helped? What made things worse?
These patterns give us clues about which lagging skills are involved and what kind of support the child needs.
From Understanding to Solutions
Once we understand which skills a child is lagging in and which specific situations are problematic, we can solve the problems collaboratively using the approach described in Our Approach.
A Real Example
A child was constantly getting up during story time, disrupting others. Traditional approach: consequences for getting up. Result: didn't work — child kept doing it.
Assessment revealed: The child had high energy in the morning (after arriving) and couldn't sit still. It wasn't defiance — it was a regulation issue.
Collaborative solution: The child helped design an "energy challenge" — a quick circuit around the playground when they needed to move. They raise their hand, do the circuit, and return ready to focus. Problem solved, skill being built, relationship intact.
Your Role in This Process
You know your child better than anyone. When we're trying to understand what's going on, your insights are invaluable:
- ✓What situations are hard at home?
- ✓When do they do well?
- ✓What strategies have worked for you?
- ✓What do you notice about their energy, mood, or triggers?
- ✓What are they really good at?
When school and home work together to understand a child, we get a complete picture. And complete pictures lead to better solutions.
This Isn't About Labeling
Identifying lagging skills isn't about diagnosing or labeling your child. It's about understanding what they need to learn and how we can help them learn it. Every child has areas where they're still developing. Our job is to support that development with patience and skill.
Learn More
The ALSUP assessment is part of Dr. Ross Greene's Collaborative & Proactive Solutions approach. You can find free resources, including a printable ALSUP form, at: